Disney’s Peripherals
Disney does many things well, like family-friendly movies, theme parks that attract millions of people and reminding us that magic can be a real possibility. They also do a few things with what must be...
View ArticleDisney Proves Evolution
Freedom of beliefs is a hallmark in our society, but not the freedom of facts. Facts are, by their nature, proven statements, events, outcomes, etc. So, it’s hard to hear proclamations by so-called...
View ArticleM-I-C… See That Exit? K-E-Y… Why? Because You’re Fired!
Mouseketeer Roll Call! Bobby! Annette! Sharon! Lonnie! Cubby! Mary Danella Espinoza…? * insert sound of record scratching here * For three seasons, The Mickey Mouse Club entertained America’s youth...
View ArticleClik here to view.
LINK: Disney Peripherals
Below is the link to a new article of mine for Forces Of Geek. It gets more interestingd after the link, trust me. Disney Peripherals Disney does many things well, like family-friendly movies, theme...
View ArticleClik here to view.
For M After 5 Years
Because writing poetry, as far as my own abilities go, ranks right up there with fixing a car, mental telepathy or even basic mathematics, I can only read and share the works of others. The following...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Real Hunters Do It For Art
For a few years, I worked a relatively dead-end job at a custom framing store. Had I been an artist, this job would have made a lot of sense because framing can get expensive. For me, this job made as...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Who Is That? How’s It Spelled?
For a few years, I worked a relatively dead-end job at a custom framing store. Besides getting many things of my own nicely framed, I got a story or two to tell. ****** The store I worked at had a...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Holiday Captions For Awful People
Ho x 3! With Christmas fast approaching, America’s holiday traditions are in full force: overeating while forgetting that gluttony is a sin, giving gifts you can’t afford to relatives you can’t...
View ArticleClik here to view.
LINK: M-I-C… See That Exit? K-E-Y… Why? Because You’re Fired!
Below is a link to my newest article for Forces Of Geek and editor Stefan Blitz. I am taking a break from FOG for a few months, so please send me off by clicking on the link below. Thanks! *** M-I-C…...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Holiday Rules For Everyone
. “Home is where the heart is.” “Don’t spend more than you can afford.” Advice that has been handed down for generations and stood the test of time are the result of a combination of common sense,...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Aaay! It’s Fonzie Day
. Growing up on that particular Oregon street was innocent, quiet and, if I’d known what a Beaver Cleaver even was, maybe even Cleaver-esque. Hillsboro was the sort of Nilla wafer-flavored suburb that...
View ArticleClik here to view.
A Corporate Bull and an Evangelical Walk Into a Coffeeshop
When this happened, I hurried to get it down while it was still fresh in my mind. There is a maximum 24-hour lifespan for any information stored in my brain. Once that time is up, it’s lost forever and...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Phillip’s Coming To Dinner (A Cautionary Tale)
In the years since our time working together in retail hell, Phillip* and I had kept in sporadic contact. Just when I’d start to wonder how he was doing, the phone would ring or an email would arrive....
View ArticleClik here to view.
The Girl With The Bowl Cut Hair
The place: Mrs. Dell’s 6th grade classroom, Idlewild Elementary, Tacoma, WA. *** As Valentine’s Day crept up on us like a pink disease, Mrs. Dell read aloud stories of love. Every one of the girls in...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Tips On Adulthood
As someone who inhabits the same sphere of influence as pop teen sensations, I believe that I have a responsibility to today’s youth. By the very nature of my being a hero to so many, kids all over the...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Uncorking A Bottle of Whoopass
Pre-game brawls in parking lots. Waves of projectiles hurled at someone wearing a rival jersey. Violence erupting in the grandstands. These acts have become acceptable (and, at times, expected) at any...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Waste Of Ancient Wisdom
The place: Tacoma, WA Aron Hakone’s dad was someone worth bragging about. He was a black belt in karate, was in really good shape, was really nice and, oh! was a black belt in karate. One day at...
View ArticleClik here to view.
First Annual Dumb People Celebration Day
The following was transcribed from KMVM’s original broadcast *** DON BLANCMAN (Parade Co-Master): This is Don Blancman coming to you live atop the viewing post on Viking Blvd. in the heart of our...
View ArticleClik here to view.
New Social Pariah Schedule From AMC Theatres
As a way to reach out to an untapped market, movie theatres nationwide have implemented Mommy Matinees, times specifically geared toward socially isolated mothers with newborns. No longer the target of...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Fall Down? Hmm… Interesting.
NOTE – While I am offline writing fiction and ignoring my blog, I’ve decided to post a few pieces that 99% of you have never read or heard of. The following was originally published by The Short Humour...
View ArticleClik here to view.
A Look Into Rebound Relationships
NOTE – While I am offline writing fiction and ignoring my blog, I’ve decided to post a few pieces that 99% of you have never read or heard of. ***** Romance, l’amour, that’s amore, gettin’ freaky....
View ArticleClik here to view.
Twinkie, Twinkie, Little Star
That’s right, America. The Twinkie is back! (for some reason) Assumed by many to be the unholy result of a secret Nazi project codenamed either Twinkilnauss or Angelfoodensch, the Twinkie has been a...
View ArticleClik here to view.
To All Who Come To This Happy Place… Aaaarrrggh!
NOTE – While I am offline writing fiction and ignoring my blog, I’ve decided to post a few pieces that 99% of you have never read. Originally published by Forces Of Geek ***** Perhaps I’d been...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Chowderhead Interviews Lil’ Ol’ Me
Adam over at Chowderhead, in what can only be seen as an attempt to lose readers, has interviewed me for his blog. If you get a moment, head on over and give it a read. WARNING: The interview does...
View ArticleClik here to view.
My Name Is Mike and I’m a Felon
. If Oregon code 131.125 is taken into account, the statute of limitations on this particular crime has long since passed. This allows me to speak openly and in detail–without concern of incriminating...
View ArticleClik here to view.
My Nephew Presents…
A video! For your viewing pleasure is a Christmas video by my nephew, Aidan. It celebrates our recent discovery of an amazing/ridiculous Christmas song from 1960 titled “Dominick the Donkey” Show some...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Holiday Captions For Awful People 2013
As with last year, I have decided that the best way to celebrate the holidays is by putting together a sort of thank you to all my new readers, including the following folks who are, like, completely...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Thoroughly Modern Messiah
Step aside first century. The New Testament may soon be referred to as The Old New Testament. That’s because one the most widely distributed books in the world is finally getting a makeover. For...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Actually, It’s Both… My Shoe Size and My IQ
Generally, maturation is defined by a person’s reaching a physical and emotional “growing up”–the result of experiencing and benefitting from life’s innumerable lessons and, ultimately leading to each...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Happy 100
Without my grandmother, I never would have learned common Italian phrases such as: “Is that all you’re gonna eat?” “Eat, eat. You’re wasting away to nothing.”...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Room For Four More
It was my parents’ 17th anniversary, a night for outward ‘I-love-you’s and inward ‘what-was-I-thinking’s. These anniversary dinners out as a family were standard: eat something expensive, maybe have...
View ArticleClik here to view.
New Post at Tipsy Lit
Ericka and the rest of the staff over at Tipsy Lit were kind enough to publish another piece of mine. The great thing about posting on someone else’s blog is that the lawsuits regarding plagiarism...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Hip To Be …–.- ..- .- .-. .
Sometimes ironic, sometimes retro-chic, hipsters are the compass that points our culture toward cool. The horn rimmed glasses and skinny jeans have almost become the uniform of the mainstream, wanna-be...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Placeholder
Put away your black armbands, everyone. I am not dead. In fact, I have been relatively alive this entire time… just not online. As it turns out, real life has been/is far more interesting and fun than...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Summertime Captions For Awful People
Today is the first day of Autumn. This means it is time to say goodbye to Summer. It is time to realize that we can do better than Summer. For some of us, perhaps it’s time to pretend we never even met...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Halloween Costumes Of Old – When Less Was More… More or Less
“Trick or treat!” “Boo!” “That’s scary!” “I got a rock.” Such phrases have become synonymous with Halloween. Halloween itself has become a billion dollar industry with super stores popping up in...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Come, Meet The Family
As with every holiday, there are some events that have themselves gone on to become traditions. Things that, if they ceased to exist, would devastate the hearts of families around the globe. These...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Tips For Phone Interviews
In the past, I’ve provided tips for in-person interviews. From small business to high-profile companies, these tips have resulted in several readers’ successful interviews. In other cases, these tips...
View ArticleClik here to view.
This Birthday Memory Brought To You By Coors
For my 11th birthday, I hosted a sleepover for eight of my friends at our home in Tacoma, WA. In case any of you don’t know, sleepovers are different than slumber parties. Like, inherently different....
View ArticleClik here to view.
Westward Ho – Part 1: Crappy Souveniers
PREFACE: Much of my childhood was spent on the road, but not in a Beatified, romantic sort of way. Instead, it was simply that we were forced to. Whether transferred, offered a better job or just...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Westward Ho – Part 2: General Custard
<— Part 1 —-< Instead of driving west into Utah, then up to Idaho, we drove north to Montana in a spontaneous change of plans wholly inspired by a coloring book, Bucky Thompson and the Redskins....
View ArticleClik here to view.
So… Where Was I?
My last post was April of 2015. However, after a number* of emails asking why I was not posting, how I was and other friendly reaching-out’s, I decided to return and try to engage what is undoubtedly a...
View ArticleClik here to view.
The Tinkle Controversy
The Place: Tacoma, WA. At Idylwild Elementary, 204 was the only classroom that had its own bathroom. Believe me when I say that this was a pretty big deal. Students in other classes were forced to...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Tips For The Modern World
Living in a modern world is not necessarily a difficult or insurmountable task. Oh sure, for folks like myself, life is simply a series of easily-achieved goals and back-to-back successes that follow...
View ArticleClik here to view.
SHAM or How To Be Cool Like Mike
When anyone meets me for the first time, they see that my build is slight, my hair looks like a Brylcreem ad, my glasses are older than me, and I’m probably humming a song that their grandparents might...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Pint-sized Savings
Dictated by completely unnecessary necessity, I drove to the nearby Trader Joe’s. The intended outcome was to acquire sparkling water, some butternut squash zig-zags, and a piece of fruit, thereby...
View ArticleClik here to view.
When I Grow Up, I Wanna Be a Rerun
Throughout the history of academic-enforced writing assignments, one of the more tried and true topics doled out in elementary schools is the one that asks children what they want to be when they grow...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Oh (Boy) Mein (Drunk) Papa
For my 11th birthday, I hosted a sleepover for eight of my friends at our home in Tacoma, WA. In case any of you don’t know, sleepovers are different than slumber parties. Like, inherently different....
View ArticleClik here to view.
Disney Films For Snuffies
Originally Published on Forces of Geek. Walt Disney liked to appeal to the varying aspects of everyone’s internal self. Disneyland was built, for example, to appeal to the child in all of us. The...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Good Dog Day Afternoon
At my office, employees are encouraged to bring their dogs into work. By that, I don’t mean that employees are encouraged to bring the dogs in to do work. Rather, they are encouraged to treat the...
View Article